Disabled Actress Cherylee Houston is Coronation Streets first ever full time disabled actress. Cherylee has EDS/HMS and fibromyalgia (like alot of people with eds/hms). And it seems the condition is finally going to be getting more recognised in the mainstream as Cherylee's character 'Izzy' also has the condition!.
The condition is going to be written into the show so I imagine that before long people will be hearing 'my joints dislocate easily' coming from their tv.
This is great news for members of the eds/hms community for many reasons.
First it will hopefully help raise some recognition of how serious and disabling the condition can be for some people. It will also help people with the condition get across to their family and friends how the condition can deteriate and to what level.
My biggest hope is that it helps raise awareness of the condition amongst drs who will finally be able to see that eds/hms doesn't just mean you are extra bendy but that it can result in serious disability.
Some people from some of the eds/hms online communities are worried that becuase Cherylee is a full time wheelchair user that people will think that if you have eds/hms you have to be in a wheelchair and that people will think that if you don't use a wheelchair you can't have the condition. They are worried that it might get the wrong message across and fail to show that the condition affects people very differntly. However I think it's about time that the condition was shown in its more serious form. It gets very tiring seeing the condition played down massively in medical literature, internet information sites and by drs. For me it will make a massive difference to be able to say to people 'I have the same thing as Izzy on Coronation Street' knowing that I then don't have to try explain why I'm not up and about walking around and living a normal life.
There hasn't been much talk on the condition on the show yet other than a brief explanation by Izzy when asked how she came to be in a wheelchair by kirk,
'Its a degenerative thing, its genetic'.
Some people from the bendy community aren't happy with this very basic explanation but in my opinion this is very accurate on how alot of us deal with questions on eds/hms from new people.
When people first ask about my condition and why I am in a wheelchair I usually say something very similar,
'I have a genetic condition that's got worse very quickly'.
Its only if that person sticks around that I will begin to explain the condition more but even then its usually
'my joints dislocate easily and I get very tired very quickly'.
The more detailed explanation only comes if a friendship develops. People might wonder why I, and many others with eds/hms, aren't as vocal about our condition as our blogs portray. For me it's because it's very difficult to explain the condition in enough detail to get the seriousness of it across quick enough so that the other person doesn't switch off.
Also my biggest worry is that I come across as bitter or a moaner about my condition so I tend to play it down alot in real life. It's very easy for people to assume you have more of an issue about your disability if you talk about it more. For me, this blog, facebook and the hmsa forum are the only place where I talk about eds/hms in any detail. New people in my life at the moment are only learning about the condition slowely as they ask more questions over time.
The only worry I have about the storyline of Izzy's eds/hms and fibromyalgia is that she hasn't yet appeared to have any issues with pain or exhaustion. eds/hms in itself leaves you in almost constant pain and with at least moderate fatigue. Fibromyalgia ontop of that would cause even more pain and more serious issues with exhaustion. However so far the character has yet to complain of pain or tiredness and is working full time in the show's 'Knicker Factory'.
I hope that the show's writers use Cherylee's own expereince of the condition to give an accurate portrayal of these main symptoms of the condition, although it wouldn't make much of a show if she slept through most of it!
However it does seem that itv are keen to not downplay the condition given the accurate description of 'Izzy's' eds/hms on the corrie website:
http://www.itv.com/soaps/coronationstreet/characters/f-lcharacters/izzyarmstrong/
I hope that Cherylee's character and storyline on Coronation street will raise much needed awareness about the condition.
Cherylee has also appeared in Emmerdale, Little Britain, The Bill, Casualty and other tv shows.
For more information on Cherylee's acting career and her character on the show see
http://www.itv.com/lifestyle/thismorning/showbiz/cheryleehouston/
Monday 14 June 2010
Sunday 13 June 2010
Just a quickie!
Thought I would post a quick one whilst I wait for tiredness to set in so I can go to bed.
The past week as been a tough one energy wise. I've spent most the week in bed and have slept through an entire day twice.
I had planned on watching the all important England game on saturday but after sleeping for most of the day before I was still exhausted by 3pm and decided to have a quick nap. I work up 21 hours hours later, the next day having missed the game altogther.
However I think I've finally caught up and fully recharged. Today took a while to get going (thank God for the comedy channel on sky tv!).
But once I got moving I managed to get a little housework done, had a shower and got to church.
I'm now suffering the after-effects of so much sleep-insomnia! grrr.
But Iv managed to get alot of bloggging done while I wait for my body clock to catch up.
I have to apologise for my previous post. Those who know me well will know I very rarely moan about my condition and certainly not to the extent of explaining in such details the not so good parts of EDS. However rather than delete the post like I usually do when I write something I later regret, I'm going to leave it just in case it helps someone else. A few of my bendy friends have told me they are passing my blog onto their friends and family to help them understand how hms/eds affects them so hopefully that post will help explain the nasty bits.
So from now on I am hopefully back to my normal positive self. No more winging or complaining and focussing on the bad bits.
I expect by the end of the week I will have done something wonderful or experienced something humerous or embarrasing with my hms/eds that I can tell you all about.
Till then, happy bending!
cx
The past week as been a tough one energy wise. I've spent most the week in bed and have slept through an entire day twice.
I had planned on watching the all important England game on saturday but after sleeping for most of the day before I was still exhausted by 3pm and decided to have a quick nap. I work up 21 hours hours later, the next day having missed the game altogther.
However I think I've finally caught up and fully recharged. Today took a while to get going (thank God for the comedy channel on sky tv!).
But once I got moving I managed to get a little housework done, had a shower and got to church.
I'm now suffering the after-effects of so much sleep-insomnia! grrr.
But Iv managed to get alot of bloggging done while I wait for my body clock to catch up.
I have to apologise for my previous post. Those who know me well will know I very rarely moan about my condition and certainly not to the extent of explaining in such details the not so good parts of EDS. However rather than delete the post like I usually do when I write something I later regret, I'm going to leave it just in case it helps someone else. A few of my bendy friends have told me they are passing my blog onto their friends and family to help them understand how hms/eds affects them so hopefully that post will help explain the nasty bits.
So from now on I am hopefully back to my normal positive self. No more winging or complaining and focussing on the bad bits.
I expect by the end of the week I will have done something wonderful or experienced something humerous or embarrasing with my hms/eds that I can tell you all about.
Till then, happy bending!
cx
Thursday 10 June 2010
The Reality of HMS/EDS
The last few weeks I've had more than the usual 'what is your condition exactly?'.
I don't mind being asked about hms/eds, especially if the person asking is enquiring through care and compassion rather than just being nosey.
Because of the complex nature of hms/eds its impossible to get the full extent of the condition across in one or two sentences. So my usual reply is something like "My joints dislocate really easily so I'm in pain alot and get really worn out easily."
I rarely moan or complain about my situation, even on bad days. My non-bendy friends rarely see me on bad days, if at all, and my usual reply to 'how are you feeling today?' is an automatic 'I'm good thanks how are you?'.
Only my fellow bendy friends (those with hms/eds) have a real understanding of the reality of living with the condition.
I'm not keen on people really knowing the full extent of how hms/eds affects me because I hate being seen as weak, a complainer or ungrateful for the good days.
But I think its come to the point where I have too many people enquiring regularly about how I am. I can no longer keep hiding away for half the week, putting on my 'I'm fine' face. So here is that reality for my non-bendy friends and friends of other hms/eds sufferers.
I'm dealing with day 3 of a really bad flare at the moment. A 'flare' for me is when the usual everyday pain and fatigue 'flare' up really bad to the point where I'm either stuck in bed or unable to do anything other than sleep. 'Coma days' are days where I simply sleep right through them, usually 48hr solid sleeps. 'Coma days' can occur without me having a 'flare' in pain and usually happen at least once a week.
A 'flare' on the other hand usually means although I'm stuck in bed and exhausted, my sleep is very broken and difficult due to the pain.
HMS/EDS Pain
Its quite difficult to get the level of the pain hms/eds causes across to non-bendy people.
Pain affects me (and other people with hms/eds) differently throughout the day. There is always some kind of pain going on at any given time.
For me I am always in some level of pain. There is never a time when I am not in pain of some kind. However, when you live with chronic pain, you learn to block out the average day pain. If someone slapped you across the face it would really hurt and you would definitely feel it. If someone slapped you across the face repeatedly without a break you would eventually stop being so affected and shocked by it. It would still hurt but you would get so used to feeling it that you would learn to ignore it.
There are 4 main types of pain that come with hms/eds.
The first is a constant ache that covers my entire body. The best way to describe it is to say it is very similar to that ache you have when you come down with a really bad cold or flu. You ache everywhere with the joints being most painful.
This pain is constant and never goes away. This is the pain that I've learnt to ignore. I still feel it, but I've become so used to it that it doesn't effect how I function.
The second type of pain is when the usual chronic ache becomes more intense than usual. It turns from being like a regular bad cold/flu ache to being similar to the more intense ache you get when you have full blown flu. Most people experience real flu at least once. If you haven't yet experienced it you are lucky as most people will tell you that it is really awful. With real full blown flu the pain is still around your whole body, however it is much worse than the previous example. You are unable to move, even the movement of your ribs during breathing becomes excruciating. This is what the pain is like during a 'flare' for me.
The pain is so bad that I cannot ignore it. I usually am unable to get out of bed during this type of pain. The only thing I can do is to take painkillers and try to sleep through it. However, anyone who has had bad flu will tell you, its very difficult to sleep whilst in this type of pain because it is very difficult to relax enough to fall asleep. If I am able to fall asleep it is usually only for a few minutes at a time. These days are spent trying to distract myself with whatever I am able to do. Usually I am able to have the TV on quietly or listen to some music whilst drifting in and out of sleep. If the pain is starting to diminish, either temporarily or permanently for that flare, I am able to use my laptop to get online or play some simple games. This post for my blog is being written whilst the pain is getting less intense.
The third type of pain that comes with hms/eds is the acute pain that is caused by injury to the joints. If you dislocate a joint it is obviously very painful. With hms/eds not only do you have dislocations, but you also have subluxations. This is a partial dislocation where the end of the bone will move in the joint in a way its not designed to do. For example the elbow might turn more than its supposed to but will not dislocate. Instead it gets stuck partially dislocated. This is a subluxation in it's basic form, still very painful and still needing to be 'popped' back into its normal position. People who know me will be used to me clicking and clunking my elbow and my knuckles to replace a subluxated joint.
When a joint dislocates or subluxates the ligaments and muscles around the joint become damaged in some way. They tend to be overstretched or may even tear. Once a joint is popped back into place the damaged muscles and ligaments will spasm and become very painful usually for a few hours, sometimes even a few days. As well as the muscles and ligaments being very painful, the joint itself will become inflamed as a result of the injury. This is the body's natural response and happens in order to stop the joint from becoming further injured. An inflamed joint is quite sore. Because hms/eds causes the joints to dislocate/subluxate regularly, most people with hms/eds will be dealing with this third type of pain pretty much constantly in one joint or another. For me I have to deal with dislocations around 2-3 times a week and subluxations around 5-10 times a day.
The fourth and final type of pain that comes wit hms/eds is the pain that is caused by permanent damage to the joints. Because the joints are moving much more than they are supposed to, they can wear down which damages the surface of the joint socket and the end of the bone. This leads to osteo-arthritis very early on in people with hms/eds.
I have developed osteo-arthritis in my lower spine, in particular the Sacroiliac joints. These joints are where the bottom of the spine joins the pelvic bone. Normally the joints hardly move at all, but in hms/eds they can be as flexible as any other joint. Arthritis is a painful condition that on its own can in some cases cause serious disability and deforming of the affected joint. In hms/eds the arthritis is a secondary condition which means it's there because of the hms/eds.
Inflammation can also be a permanent condition for some joints, in particular the spine. This inflammation becomes permanent either because the joint is so unstable or becuase the body has got confused and thinks the joint is still injured when it isn't. For me, this constant inflammation occurs in my lower spine and hands.
There are other types of pain that can occur with hms/eds such as pain in the organs that are affected by the condition. For me this happens in the stomach and bowel.
During a bad 'flare' I am usually dealing with the first two types of pain, the 'aches' as well as the pain caused by arthritis and inflammation in my lower spine. The arthritic pain and that caused by inflammation in my hands and spine are triggered during bad flares, especially the spine, which makes it very difficult to move, even to change position in bed. Strong painkillers such as Tramadol, codeine, combined with paracetamol and ibuprofen can help bring the pain levels down to a more bearable level, however they can only be taken every 6 hours and usually only last for 3 at the most. They don't take away the pain but only bring it down a little, but not enough to have me up on my feet. I also take the same painkillers if I have a sudden pain or an build-up of pain in a joint/joints caused from a dislocation/subluxation or inflammation. However due to a rare reaction to medication a few years ago which caused serious effects, I only take my pain medication when the pain becomes more than I can cope with. For those who know me, they are able to tell when the pain is very bad when they see me reaching for my meds.
I use a TENS machine on my spine when the pain is particular bad. This is a small machine that is attached to electrodes on my spine. A small electric charge is passed through the electrodes to the spinal chord blocking the pain signals.
HMS/EDS fatigue/exhaustion
Pain has more than the obvious effect on the body. Being in constant pain requires alot of energy to ignore in order to get on with everyday life. It also drains energy when the pain is particularly bad. As a result, people with chronic pain tend to get worn out very easily. Hms/eds causes energy levels to be seriously reduced anyway due to the muscles using up most of your energy in order to keep the joints stable during movement. So the energy that is ambushed by pain is often the last reserves. This is whey a bad pain flare will wipe me out and cause me to sleep more than normal. If i am not sleeping during a pain flare, I am still too exhausted to do anything other than to dose in bed.
As well as pain causing fatigue and exhaustion, a hms/eds flare will cause the usual fatigue to be worse.
The fatigue and exhaustion caused by hms/eds (not related to pain), is very similar to Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS/ME). As mentioned earlier, the muscles in hms/eds body have to do all they can to support the unstable joints. This means that they require alot of energy to be constantly working, even when the joint is resting. The amount of energy needed for the muscles can be anything up to two thirds of the energy supply used for other things. 'Stealing' all this energy means there is very little left for the rest of the body to do anything else. Getting out of bed, washed and dressed for someone with hms/eds can be exhausting and can leave them too tired to be able to do anything else for the rest of the day other than rest.
Just like pain, fatigue various in its intensity. For me a good-average day energy-wise is similar to that of a regular person who has had very little or no sleep for a few days whilst still working full time in a physical job. On a good day I can get ready and manage a few hours out in my wheelchair doing some shopping. Or on very good day I am able to sweep the floor in my flat, dust the furniture and take a shower. After that I am usually in alot of pain and so exhausted that I either have to go back to bed or spend the day laid on the settee.
A bad day leaves me with very little energy. Usually just getting out of bed and having breakfast is the limit. Visitors will be asked to forgive me being unwashed and in my pyjamas on these days.
During a 'flare' I may have no energy or very little. These days are spent in bed using my wheelchair to get to the bathroom. I may sleep through most of the day if my pain is not too bad. If pain is also an issue the day is spent in bed dosing on and off listening to music or reading a book if I am able.
People with hms/eds can also suffer from insomnia caused by the pain making it difficult to sleep. A typical night for me consists of two-three hours sleep from which I wake up in pain and spend the rest of the night trying to find things to do to occupy me until daytime. This lack of sufficient sleep makes the fatigue/exhaustion more problematic.
Hms/eds is a condition that affects me differently every day. It's impossible to tell if I will have a good day or a bad day. I make the most of the good days so that it is easier to stay positive on the bad days.
The pain and exhaustion fluctuate so quickly that a good day can quickly turn into a bad day with little warning and vice versa.
It's hard to say what other people can do to help. I think the best thing others can do is just take time to learn about my condition and how it affects me. It's very easy for me to pretend I'm fine when I'm not. Its also very easy for other people to assume I am having a good day when I'm not by how well I can come across. Its also very easy for people to forget I am in pain all the time, even when I am having a very good day.
The only way for others to understand how bad the bad days are is to actually see me in bed unable to move and so exhausted I cannot speak. But I find it too difficult to let people see me like this.
Hopefully this edition of my blog will help others to understand a little how hms/eds affects me.
I don't mind being asked about hms/eds, especially if the person asking is enquiring through care and compassion rather than just being nosey.
Because of the complex nature of hms/eds its impossible to get the full extent of the condition across in one or two sentences. So my usual reply is something like "My joints dislocate really easily so I'm in pain alot and get really worn out easily."
I rarely moan or complain about my situation, even on bad days. My non-bendy friends rarely see me on bad days, if at all, and my usual reply to 'how are you feeling today?' is an automatic 'I'm good thanks how are you?'.
Only my fellow bendy friends (those with hms/eds) have a real understanding of the reality of living with the condition.
I'm not keen on people really knowing the full extent of how hms/eds affects me because I hate being seen as weak, a complainer or ungrateful for the good days.
But I think its come to the point where I have too many people enquiring regularly about how I am. I can no longer keep hiding away for half the week, putting on my 'I'm fine' face. So here is that reality for my non-bendy friends and friends of other hms/eds sufferers.
I'm dealing with day 3 of a really bad flare at the moment. A 'flare' for me is when the usual everyday pain and fatigue 'flare' up really bad to the point where I'm either stuck in bed or unable to do anything other than sleep. 'Coma days' are days where I simply sleep right through them, usually 48hr solid sleeps. 'Coma days' can occur without me having a 'flare' in pain and usually happen at least once a week.
A 'flare' on the other hand usually means although I'm stuck in bed and exhausted, my sleep is very broken and difficult due to the pain.
HMS/EDS Pain
Its quite difficult to get the level of the pain hms/eds causes across to non-bendy people.
Pain affects me (and other people with hms/eds) differently throughout the day. There is always some kind of pain going on at any given time.
For me I am always in some level of pain. There is never a time when I am not in pain of some kind. However, when you live with chronic pain, you learn to block out the average day pain. If someone slapped you across the face it would really hurt and you would definitely feel it. If someone slapped you across the face repeatedly without a break you would eventually stop being so affected and shocked by it. It would still hurt but you would get so used to feeling it that you would learn to ignore it.
There are 4 main types of pain that come with hms/eds.
The first is a constant ache that covers my entire body. The best way to describe it is to say it is very similar to that ache you have when you come down with a really bad cold or flu. You ache everywhere with the joints being most painful.
This pain is constant and never goes away. This is the pain that I've learnt to ignore. I still feel it, but I've become so used to it that it doesn't effect how I function.
The second type of pain is when the usual chronic ache becomes more intense than usual. It turns from being like a regular bad cold/flu ache to being similar to the more intense ache you get when you have full blown flu. Most people experience real flu at least once. If you haven't yet experienced it you are lucky as most people will tell you that it is really awful. With real full blown flu the pain is still around your whole body, however it is much worse than the previous example. You are unable to move, even the movement of your ribs during breathing becomes excruciating. This is what the pain is like during a 'flare' for me.
The pain is so bad that I cannot ignore it. I usually am unable to get out of bed during this type of pain. The only thing I can do is to take painkillers and try to sleep through it. However, anyone who has had bad flu will tell you, its very difficult to sleep whilst in this type of pain because it is very difficult to relax enough to fall asleep. If I am able to fall asleep it is usually only for a few minutes at a time. These days are spent trying to distract myself with whatever I am able to do. Usually I am able to have the TV on quietly or listen to some music whilst drifting in and out of sleep. If the pain is starting to diminish, either temporarily or permanently for that flare, I am able to use my laptop to get online or play some simple games. This post for my blog is being written whilst the pain is getting less intense.
The third type of pain that comes with hms/eds is the acute pain that is caused by injury to the joints. If you dislocate a joint it is obviously very painful. With hms/eds not only do you have dislocations, but you also have subluxations. This is a partial dislocation where the end of the bone will move in the joint in a way its not designed to do. For example the elbow might turn more than its supposed to but will not dislocate. Instead it gets stuck partially dislocated. This is a subluxation in it's basic form, still very painful and still needing to be 'popped' back into its normal position. People who know me will be used to me clicking and clunking my elbow and my knuckles to replace a subluxated joint.
When a joint dislocates or subluxates the ligaments and muscles around the joint become damaged in some way. They tend to be overstretched or may even tear. Once a joint is popped back into place the damaged muscles and ligaments will spasm and become very painful usually for a few hours, sometimes even a few days. As well as the muscles and ligaments being very painful, the joint itself will become inflamed as a result of the injury. This is the body's natural response and happens in order to stop the joint from becoming further injured. An inflamed joint is quite sore. Because hms/eds causes the joints to dislocate/subluxate regularly, most people with hms/eds will be dealing with this third type of pain pretty much constantly in one joint or another. For me I have to deal with dislocations around 2-3 times a week and subluxations around 5-10 times a day.
The fourth and final type of pain that comes wit hms/eds is the pain that is caused by permanent damage to the joints. Because the joints are moving much more than they are supposed to, they can wear down which damages the surface of the joint socket and the end of the bone. This leads to osteo-arthritis very early on in people with hms/eds.
I have developed osteo-arthritis in my lower spine, in particular the Sacroiliac joints. These joints are where the bottom of the spine joins the pelvic bone. Normally the joints hardly move at all, but in hms/eds they can be as flexible as any other joint. Arthritis is a painful condition that on its own can in some cases cause serious disability and deforming of the affected joint. In hms/eds the arthritis is a secondary condition which means it's there because of the hms/eds.
Inflammation can also be a permanent condition for some joints, in particular the spine. This inflammation becomes permanent either because the joint is so unstable or becuase the body has got confused and thinks the joint is still injured when it isn't. For me, this constant inflammation occurs in my lower spine and hands.
There are other types of pain that can occur with hms/eds such as pain in the organs that are affected by the condition. For me this happens in the stomach and bowel.
During a bad 'flare' I am usually dealing with the first two types of pain, the 'aches' as well as the pain caused by arthritis and inflammation in my lower spine. The arthritic pain and that caused by inflammation in my hands and spine are triggered during bad flares, especially the spine, which makes it very difficult to move, even to change position in bed. Strong painkillers such as Tramadol, codeine, combined with paracetamol and ibuprofen can help bring the pain levels down to a more bearable level, however they can only be taken every 6 hours and usually only last for 3 at the most. They don't take away the pain but only bring it down a little, but not enough to have me up on my feet. I also take the same painkillers if I have a sudden pain or an build-up of pain in a joint/joints caused from a dislocation/subluxation or inflammation. However due to a rare reaction to medication a few years ago which caused serious effects, I only take my pain medication when the pain becomes more than I can cope with. For those who know me, they are able to tell when the pain is very bad when they see me reaching for my meds.
I use a TENS machine on my spine when the pain is particular bad. This is a small machine that is attached to electrodes on my spine. A small electric charge is passed through the electrodes to the spinal chord blocking the pain signals.
HMS/EDS fatigue/exhaustion
Pain has more than the obvious effect on the body. Being in constant pain requires alot of energy to ignore in order to get on with everyday life. It also drains energy when the pain is particularly bad. As a result, people with chronic pain tend to get worn out very easily. Hms/eds causes energy levels to be seriously reduced anyway due to the muscles using up most of your energy in order to keep the joints stable during movement. So the energy that is ambushed by pain is often the last reserves. This is whey a bad pain flare will wipe me out and cause me to sleep more than normal. If i am not sleeping during a pain flare, I am still too exhausted to do anything other than to dose in bed.
As well as pain causing fatigue and exhaustion, a hms/eds flare will cause the usual fatigue to be worse.
The fatigue and exhaustion caused by hms/eds (not related to pain), is very similar to Chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS/ME). As mentioned earlier, the muscles in hms/eds body have to do all they can to support the unstable joints. This means that they require alot of energy to be constantly working, even when the joint is resting. The amount of energy needed for the muscles can be anything up to two thirds of the energy supply used for other things. 'Stealing' all this energy means there is very little left for the rest of the body to do anything else. Getting out of bed, washed and dressed for someone with hms/eds can be exhausting and can leave them too tired to be able to do anything else for the rest of the day other than rest.
Just like pain, fatigue various in its intensity. For me a good-average day energy-wise is similar to that of a regular person who has had very little or no sleep for a few days whilst still working full time in a physical job. On a good day I can get ready and manage a few hours out in my wheelchair doing some shopping. Or on very good day I am able to sweep the floor in my flat, dust the furniture and take a shower. After that I am usually in alot of pain and so exhausted that I either have to go back to bed or spend the day laid on the settee.
A bad day leaves me with very little energy. Usually just getting out of bed and having breakfast is the limit. Visitors will be asked to forgive me being unwashed and in my pyjamas on these days.
During a 'flare' I may have no energy or very little. These days are spent in bed using my wheelchair to get to the bathroom. I may sleep through most of the day if my pain is not too bad. If pain is also an issue the day is spent in bed dosing on and off listening to music or reading a book if I am able.
People with hms/eds can also suffer from insomnia caused by the pain making it difficult to sleep. A typical night for me consists of two-three hours sleep from which I wake up in pain and spend the rest of the night trying to find things to do to occupy me until daytime. This lack of sufficient sleep makes the fatigue/exhaustion more problematic.
Hms/eds is a condition that affects me differently every day. It's impossible to tell if I will have a good day or a bad day. I make the most of the good days so that it is easier to stay positive on the bad days.
The pain and exhaustion fluctuate so quickly that a good day can quickly turn into a bad day with little warning and vice versa.
It's hard to say what other people can do to help. I think the best thing others can do is just take time to learn about my condition and how it affects me. It's very easy for me to pretend I'm fine when I'm not. Its also very easy for other people to assume I am having a good day when I'm not by how well I can come across. Its also very easy for people to forget I am in pain all the time, even when I am having a very good day.
The only way for others to understand how bad the bad days are is to actually see me in bed unable to move and so exhausted I cannot speak. But I find it too difficult to let people see me like this.
Hopefully this edition of my blog will help others to understand a little how hms/eds affects me.
Tuesday 8 June 2010
Freedom and Sorrow
Well I've had a rollercoaster of a month with all things bendy.
I finally got my new wheelchair, the ferrari of the wheelchair world. Its a K4 sports chair, designed for wheelchair sports so is ultra light and extremely nippy around town. Even with my pathetic muscles I can push myself in it for hours. The mere idea of popping to the shops for some milk and to post a letter required at least 2 days notice in the past. 1 day to book a friend to carry shopping or push me, 1 day to rest in preparation for the half hour on my crutches or 15mins in the Boneshaker-my other wheelchair, name says it all. But now the only preparation needed is deciding which wheelchair gloves go best with my outfit!
I didn't realise until now just how restricted and isolated I had become. Now I can spend a few hours browsing round the clothes shops or getting 10 tasks done in one outing.
Its taken just 1 week for me to build enough muscle in my arms and stomach to deal with the uphills and uneven surfaces. I haven't mastered doing wheelies down steps yet but I'm already able to tip enough to get up kerbs and can even wheelie on the back wheels while getting 3 or 4 quick pushes in. It won't be long before I'm grinding down the handrail near the war memorial with the skater kids!
I feel like I have some of my life back. I can go out on my own to do the important things like pay bills, get shopping etc. More importantly I can get out on my own to spend time just being outdoors, going to the library and being able to carry books home, getting on the bus on my own! I am so lucky to live in a country where health care is free and even more lucky to live in an area where people like me can be given such high quality performing wheelchairs for free from the NHS (long term loan).
As well as this amazing gift, I have also started developing a social life! 'What, with people?' I hear you say!
Yes!
I've found a church full of wonderful people who already offer to drive me to services and social events. I am terrible at asking people for help so it's so fortunate that they offer before I have to ask. Last week I even made it onto the beach for the first time in over a year, for a birthday party. And even more fortunate that there was a very strong guy who pushed me back up the steepest hill in the world to the carpark at the end of the day.
All this freedom and positivity is having such a good effect. My pain has been worse the last month and my energy is still non-existant, but when you are genuinely happy (as in not faking it so people just think you are happy and coping well), it gives you motivation to push yourself that one step further to get out of bed. This week I went to a bible study group even though I was in more pain than usual and doped up to the eyeballs on painkillers. Normally I would just get into bed and try to sleep through the flare, but I didn't. I got dressed and went to the group, and even though for alot of it i had no idea what was going on because of how ill I felt, I still felt very pleased that I went because I got to laugh more than I've laughed in a long time at the bizarre unrelated tangents we often end up going on.
But as most Bendys know, When there is a positive, there is always a negative following closely behind.
I found out last week that I have a double curvature of the spine. This is quite common in people with Hypermobility Syndrome/Ehlers Danlos, due to the instability of the spine. I had hoped that I had been lucky not to have this, and had been wrongly told by my gp that the x'rays Id had done before Christmas showed my spine to be fine. But unfortunately its there and it's there with a vengeance.
The curvature is causing the lower spine to move in a way that it shouldn't. It's putting all the movement onto the left sacroiliac joint (SI joint-where the spine joins the pelvis). This has caused the joint to grind itself down to the point where it is quite badly damaged. Arthritis is the result of this damage and is irreversible. I understand now why the pain in that area has gotten so bad.
I normally just quickly deal with the next hurdle HMS/EDS brings but this one has knocked me more than usual. It's the long term effect and the problems that could occur that that worry me. It was less than a year ago I had an xray and MRI scan on my spine that came back normal, no curve, no visible damage to the SI joint. So the curve, which is very obvious in the latest xray, and the extent of the damage to the joint has happened in a very short space of time. So where will I be in another year?
Surgery is a big possibility in the future to stabilise the joint and the spine but how soon could that be? Will I need to start splinting/bracing my spine to stop the curve from getting worse? Is it too late for physio to have any effect? Will I be able to walk at all in a years time?
So many unanswered questions.
But to leave on a positive note. After a year of my nurse trying to get a dr to agree to let me use a new treatment to manage the effects HMS/EDS has on my digestive system, we got a 'yes'!. My Rheumatoglist (the bendy dr) has agreed that the only way to manage this part of the condition is to use an expensive and still controversial management treatment. My nurse has said for a while now that my current treatment is running out of 'effective time' and that the only option available is this new treatment. But no other dr would agree to it because they failed to understand (and sometimes believe) that HMS/EDS can have severe effects on the digestive system.
The treatment is one that I will be taught to do myself at home but will be hard work to get used to to begin with. I'm not expecting miracles and I know there are alot of complications that can happen at first but I'm happy to deal with these if it means finding even just a slight improvement of this part of the condition and a definite improvement of quality of life.
All in all this month has had its ups and downs, as is every month when you have a complex multi-system condition. But I have learnt more than ever that it is always better to focus on the positive things and to go to bed smiling, even on the bad days, than it is to allow the bad things to dominate your life.
Happy bending
CX
I finally got my new wheelchair, the ferrari of the wheelchair world. Its a K4 sports chair, designed for wheelchair sports so is ultra light and extremely nippy around town. Even with my pathetic muscles I can push myself in it for hours. The mere idea of popping to the shops for some milk and to post a letter required at least 2 days notice in the past. 1 day to book a friend to carry shopping or push me, 1 day to rest in preparation for the half hour on my crutches or 15mins in the Boneshaker-my other wheelchair, name says it all. But now the only preparation needed is deciding which wheelchair gloves go best with my outfit!
I didn't realise until now just how restricted and isolated I had become. Now I can spend a few hours browsing round the clothes shops or getting 10 tasks done in one outing.
Its taken just 1 week for me to build enough muscle in my arms and stomach to deal with the uphills and uneven surfaces. I haven't mastered doing wheelies down steps yet but I'm already able to tip enough to get up kerbs and can even wheelie on the back wheels while getting 3 or 4 quick pushes in. It won't be long before I'm grinding down the handrail near the war memorial with the skater kids!
I feel like I have some of my life back. I can go out on my own to do the important things like pay bills, get shopping etc. More importantly I can get out on my own to spend time just being outdoors, going to the library and being able to carry books home, getting on the bus on my own! I am so lucky to live in a country where health care is free and even more lucky to live in an area where people like me can be given such high quality performing wheelchairs for free from the NHS (long term loan).
As well as this amazing gift, I have also started developing a social life! 'What, with people?' I hear you say!
Yes!
I've found a church full of wonderful people who already offer to drive me to services and social events. I am terrible at asking people for help so it's so fortunate that they offer before I have to ask. Last week I even made it onto the beach for the first time in over a year, for a birthday party. And even more fortunate that there was a very strong guy who pushed me back up the steepest hill in the world to the carpark at the end of the day.
All this freedom and positivity is having such a good effect. My pain has been worse the last month and my energy is still non-existant, but when you are genuinely happy (as in not faking it so people just think you are happy and coping well), it gives you motivation to push yourself that one step further to get out of bed. This week I went to a bible study group even though I was in more pain than usual and doped up to the eyeballs on painkillers. Normally I would just get into bed and try to sleep through the flare, but I didn't. I got dressed and went to the group, and even though for alot of it i had no idea what was going on because of how ill I felt, I still felt very pleased that I went because I got to laugh more than I've laughed in a long time at the bizarre unrelated tangents we often end up going on.
But as most Bendys know, When there is a positive, there is always a negative following closely behind.
I found out last week that I have a double curvature of the spine. This is quite common in people with Hypermobility Syndrome/Ehlers Danlos, due to the instability of the spine. I had hoped that I had been lucky not to have this, and had been wrongly told by my gp that the x'rays Id had done before Christmas showed my spine to be fine. But unfortunately its there and it's there with a vengeance.
The curvature is causing the lower spine to move in a way that it shouldn't. It's putting all the movement onto the left sacroiliac joint (SI joint-where the spine joins the pelvis). This has caused the joint to grind itself down to the point where it is quite badly damaged. Arthritis is the result of this damage and is irreversible. I understand now why the pain in that area has gotten so bad.
I normally just quickly deal with the next hurdle HMS/EDS brings but this one has knocked me more than usual. It's the long term effect and the problems that could occur that that worry me. It was less than a year ago I had an xray and MRI scan on my spine that came back normal, no curve, no visible damage to the SI joint. So the curve, which is very obvious in the latest xray, and the extent of the damage to the joint has happened in a very short space of time. So where will I be in another year?
Surgery is a big possibility in the future to stabilise the joint and the spine but how soon could that be? Will I need to start splinting/bracing my spine to stop the curve from getting worse? Is it too late for physio to have any effect? Will I be able to walk at all in a years time?
So many unanswered questions.
But to leave on a positive note. After a year of my nurse trying to get a dr to agree to let me use a new treatment to manage the effects HMS/EDS has on my digestive system, we got a 'yes'!. My Rheumatoglist (the bendy dr) has agreed that the only way to manage this part of the condition is to use an expensive and still controversial management treatment. My nurse has said for a while now that my current treatment is running out of 'effective time' and that the only option available is this new treatment. But no other dr would agree to it because they failed to understand (and sometimes believe) that HMS/EDS can have severe effects on the digestive system.
The treatment is one that I will be taught to do myself at home but will be hard work to get used to to begin with. I'm not expecting miracles and I know there are alot of complications that can happen at first but I'm happy to deal with these if it means finding even just a slight improvement of this part of the condition and a definite improvement of quality of life.
All in all this month has had its ups and downs, as is every month when you have a complex multi-system condition. But I have learnt more than ever that it is always better to focus on the positive things and to go to bed smiling, even on the bad days, than it is to allow the bad things to dominate your life.
Happy bending
CX
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